El Deguello (SLiT THROAT)

 

Hit Play & Read, Y'all!

connect the cause and effect

one foot in front of the next

this is the start of a journey

- Gnarls Barkley, Going On

Dear NOLA,

It's been a while since I've written you a love note, but please rest assured that I still love you more than the moon and the stars.  I love my peeps in LA and TX, and boy do I have peeps!  I never realized how my sparkles and sunshine put a smile on some peoples' faces.  That really makes me feel loved, knowing that people are laughing at with me as I stumble my way through becoming a full fledged New Orleanian and honoring my strong, "Remember the ALAMO!" approach to life.  I wear my Fleur De Lis pin with pride, like a badge of honor.  I've earned those stripes now.  I'm a whole person and the "finishing school" that I was enrolled in for the past 6 weeks held up a gorgeous mirror and assisted me in my transition into who I want to be when I have finished cleaning out my house.  

I just thought I knew what it means to miss MY New Orleans.  MY New Orleans is EVERYONE's New Orleans and that's why I love you, NOLA.  You give everyone a gracious, southern hug and a hankie when he or she needs a good cry in the proverbial bubble bath.  You even feed your "chickens" filling comfort foods and tight squeezes of the hand. To top it off, every member of the restaurant/hotel/hospitality industry is kinetically infused into the pulse of this city.  Combined with the efforts of the N.O.P.D. and major shake-ups in city government, and I have a front row seat to a fascinating study in city planning. I am learning the world by observing your constant adjustments to your gumbo recipe.

Let me say this:  I've always been a bit of a Nervous Nelly.  I'm really shy and overcompensate with my loud, VIVA LE TEJAS! attitude.  I have also spent my life with the knowledge that the world IS my stage.  I just have a hard time differentiating between "front of house" and "back of house".  I have a slightly better understanding of the pulse and mojo going on in Southeastern LA, but by no means do I claim to know anything except what my mom and dad, friends and family have told me and through my own experiences here.

Thank you, New Orleans, for giving me a TIME OUT! so I could tuck in my slip properly.  During my time out, I learned a lot about myself.  I really AM a Nervous Nancy and my doctors made me realize that a 5' 9" woman in her early 30s should weigh more than 115 lbs. Watching the movie BLACK SWAN stirred up some serious self-image issues that I had been mashing down in my Pandora's box of troubles.

I now have my own label and it doesn't feel good.  I am an anorexic former ballerina who really needs to eat a sandwich.  I'm working with my super-fab team of doctors and mi familia now to get back to MY TRUE strong, West-Texan tumbleweed roots, cross bred with your live oak trees, NOLA.

After all, I've always been a little bit Texan AND a little bit New Orleanian.

I hope you can continue to take me as I am, 'cause I'm not ready to throw in the towel.

With love,

Kel :6

 Peace Be With You . . .

Tea Parties & Putting On Pants

When I was little, it was a big deal every year at Christmas time for one of the girls in my class to host a Christmas tea.  I believe this was a tradition in her family, I'm not exactly sure.  It was an opportunity for all the mothers and daughters to come together for an afternoon of tea, cookies, and lady-like conversation.

We all dressed up for this tea, it was Christmas time after all, and I remember being at this girl's house in this very fancy gated community in town, thinking "Oh MY GOD!  I'm going to drop my tea or something and ruin this girl's house and then all the girls in my class REALLY WILL HATE ME AND MAKE FUN OF ME!"  I was kind of a nervous wreck, but I stayed close by my mother's side because she was, and is, ever the lady.

So, we are all enjoying our tea out of our pretty tea cups and having nice lady like conversation and I'm still feeling nervous and noticing the whiteness of the carpet in this beautiful home.  I'm not sure what happened.  I can't explain if I tripped, someone bumped me or I secretly did it on purpose, but out of my little hands tumbles my tea cup.  Brown liquid now covers the once pristine white carpet.

I am devastated.  Mortified.  I think I started crying.  In fact, I know I started crying because that was my reaction to anything.  I messed up?  Start crying.  I got mad?  Tears start pouring.  I embarrassed myself beyond anything I could have EVER imagined. I'm bawling in my party dress with my mother and all these other women rushing around saying, "Oh, no big deal, lalalala, Stop Crying, Kelly. No big deal, really, no big deal STOP CRYING KELLY!"

Ugh.  Embarrassment central.  And to top it off, I was at a function with all of "those girls".  The mean ones, the ones who had more money than my family, and made sure that I was aware of it when I showed up in clothes from Target and they were wearing Dooney & Burke.  I was ruined and would never be a part of THEIR world.  They were perfect with perfect dresses and they definitely didn't drop tea cups at Christmas teas and ruin their friend's mother's carpet. 

Fast forward a few years, okay, a lot more than a few years, and I had the opportunity to attend a very glamorous party with a friend of mine for a work function her employer was having.  It was nice being an observer in this situation, that way I could mingle with whom I wanted and keep to myself otherwise.  After all, my friend was technically working this social event. 

This particular social event was held in a home similar to the one where the Christmas Tea was held.  Very nice, a great home for hosting social events of this nature.  Everyone dressed to the nines, lots of VERY important people in the community were in attendance, and I look over and see one of the most powerful women in the room drop her tea cup onto a very expensive looking Oriental carpet. 

At that point, I realized that everyone puts their pants on the same way.  And everyone is capable of dropping a tea cup on a friend's carpet, thus ruining her imported Oriental Rug from the Ming Dynasty.  It doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you are clumsy.

And who needs a Dooney & Burke purse, anyway?  Besides, that duck didn't match any of my outfits.