El Deguello (SLiT THROAT)

 

Hit Play & Read, Y'all!

connect the cause and effect

one foot in front of the next

this is the start of a journey

- Gnarls Barkley, Going On

Dear NOLA,

It's been a while since I've written you a love note, but please rest assured that I still love you more than the moon and the stars.  I love my peeps in LA and TX, and boy do I have peeps!  I never realized how my sparkles and sunshine put a smile on some peoples' faces.  That really makes me feel loved, knowing that people are laughing at with me as I stumble my way through becoming a full fledged New Orleanian and honoring my strong, "Remember the ALAMO!" approach to life.  I wear my Fleur De Lis pin with pride, like a badge of honor.  I've earned those stripes now.  I'm a whole person and the "finishing school" that I was enrolled in for the past 6 weeks held up a gorgeous mirror and assisted me in my transition into who I want to be when I have finished cleaning out my house.  

I just thought I knew what it means to miss MY New Orleans.  MY New Orleans is EVERYONE's New Orleans and that's why I love you, NOLA.  You give everyone a gracious, southern hug and a hankie when he or she needs a good cry in the proverbial bubble bath.  You even feed your "chickens" filling comfort foods and tight squeezes of the hand. To top it off, every member of the restaurant/hotel/hospitality industry is kinetically infused into the pulse of this city.  Combined with the efforts of the N.O.P.D. and major shake-ups in city government, and I have a front row seat to a fascinating study in city planning. I am learning the world by observing your constant adjustments to your gumbo recipe.

Let me say this:  I've always been a bit of a Nervous Nelly.  I'm really shy and overcompensate with my loud, VIVA LE TEJAS! attitude.  I have also spent my life with the knowledge that the world IS my stage.  I just have a hard time differentiating between "front of house" and "back of house".  I have a slightly better understanding of the pulse and mojo going on in Southeastern LA, but by no means do I claim to know anything except what my mom and dad, friends and family have told me and through my own experiences here.

Thank you, New Orleans, for giving me a TIME OUT! so I could tuck in my slip properly.  During my time out, I learned a lot about myself.  I really AM a Nervous Nancy and my doctors made me realize that a 5' 9" woman in her early 30s should weigh more than 115 lbs. Watching the movie BLACK SWAN stirred up some serious self-image issues that I had been mashing down in my Pandora's box of troubles.

I now have my own label and it doesn't feel good.  I am an anorexic former ballerina who really needs to eat a sandwich.  I'm working with my super-fab team of doctors and mi familia now to get back to MY TRUE strong, West-Texan tumbleweed roots, cross bred with your live oak trees, NOLA.

After all, I've always been a little bit Texan AND a little bit New Orleanian.

I hope you can continue to take me as I am, 'cause I'm not ready to throw in the towel.

With love,

Kel :6

 Peace Be With You . . .

HAPPY FREAKING TUESDAY TO YOU, TOO

So, Kevin gets home this morning from working his gawd-awful graveyard shift when he says a very bad word upon entering the apartment.  He informs me some piece of crap individual who has no respect for other people's property, even when it is clearly locked up, has stolen my beautiful, $100 bicycle.

BITCHES!!!!!!


Ugh.  I love this city, but people are crap sometimes.  Seriously, crap.  I don't take your stuff.  In fact, if you dropped something, say, $100 bill, I would chase you down to make sure you got your money back.

You, on the other hand, would take that $100 and go spend it on crack cocaine.  I would like to think you would take the "found" money and spend it on groceries for your family, but I'm having less and less faith in the human race these days. 

Instead, you stole by bike.  It's a normal bike.  You can buy it at WalMart.  And there are thousands like it in the city, so I'm not going to file a police report.  It won't do any good. :(

Alas, I'm not going to let this get me down.  Take my bicycle.  I don't care.  You suck.  Karma will get you.  And if you really needed that bicycle, I mean REALLY needed it, you could have rang the door bell, given me your story and I probably would have given you my bike.

I hope you guys have a better Tuesday than I have so far.  I want to go back to bed.

xoxo