Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Let's Try This Again

Hi there!  Remember me?  I remember you.  You were my confidantes and my companions and this blog served as my platform for expressing all the things that needed to be expressed when I (we) first started this adventure in the Big Easy.  So much has happened and in turn, so much has changed.  My husband Calico Jack and I are older and wiser and older...and more adjusted to life in this beautiful city.  It has been hard and lovely and really, so much has changed.  Did I mention that?

So, here I am.  Giving this blog another go.  I'm starting a revolution in my life in which I choose to be closer to my old self - reclaiming what has been lost.  I lost all emotion and feeling for a good, long time.  I guess you could say I lost my mojo - my magic.  I felt like I had magic in my life and then all the pieces came falling down due to a major health crisis in my life.  It changed everything for me because the bottom fell out.  Every day since then has been a struggle in reclaiming who I used to be.  I became a zombie, drugged out and emotionless.  But, things have been adjusted and I'm feeling the "feels" again.  It is, at times, scary.  To have emotions again feels foreign.  I laughed hard and loud the other day and then thought I wasn't supposed to be laughing like that because, well, what if I was going down that rabbit hole again?  What if it was the beginning of that downward spiral?  But it wasn't.  It's okay to laugh, and boy, does it feel good. 

On the flip side of being happy and laughing, I also feel sad.  That isn't a bad thing.  It's a normal existence to have an array of emotions.  That is the human condition.  You can't be manic all the time and you can't be depressed all the time, either.  There is a happy medium that everyone must try to maintain.  Sometimes it is hard and sometimes it is easy and that is okay.  I'm okay.  So are you. 

So, thank you for coming back and reading.  May we pick up where we left off, like good old friends, and may it feel like we didn't miss a beat.  I'm committed to writing again and keeping an accurate account of what it means to live in an ancient city like New Orleans and deal with the highs and lows of life.  I am strong - scary strong.  And I'm feeling more like my old self.  Huzzah!

So, here is day one.  One of many days, and many words to be written, and thoughts expressed.  Feeling the "feels" again feels good.  Thanks for stopping by to read my rambling thoughts - may we chat again tomorrow?

Until then...


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