Living in Tree Houses

I suppose you could say I have a very hard time letting things go.  Not material things as much as spoken words, but it kind of feels like I've been running up stairs to get away from the pain of negative words my entire life and that is an approach that I have employed for way too long.  It turned me into someone who thought she was a nice person, but in actuality was angry and bitter and immature.

Why so angry?  Maybe because I was hungry and needed to eat a sandwich, or perhaps I was just trying to keep the heat off myself.  I talk a big game, but in all actuality I am a meek kitten.  I am working on being more conscientious about the words that come out of my mouth because you can't take words back after they come flying out. 

I'm also overly dramatic.  Chalk that up to the belief that the world is my stage and/or I have spent a majority of my life on a stage or in front of a mirror.  Not entirely a good combination because I suffer from terrible stage fright and thing I'm something special and hate myself all at once.

I think everyone has a right to his or her own opinion and unfortunately, I started ruffling some feathers by not thinking about what I was saying to others.  I get very excited to be included in a conversation and that usually ends with me dominating the conversation.  I'm sorry. I know I can't take spoken words back, but it's something that I am working on fixing through my actions.

Therefore, if you have ever been on the receiving end of my "dagger words", please accept my apologies.  I use(d) this as a defense mechanism and never realized that I was that "mean girl" in school that no one liked.  It boils down to not liking myself very much, but I'm working on changing that as well.

I'm working hard on letting go of past situations and words that have been said to me as well.  Who wants to live in the past anyway?  Life is too short.  

I hope everyone has been enjoying the fall weather.  I must admit that I'm not much into the Halloween spirit this year.  I suppose the changing seasons can do that to a person.

Change is difficult but necessary.