Left Out

I'm sitting in my kitchen, bored, trying not to think about things too much. Kevin is at work, as he should be (since he seems to be the only one around here that has found a job), and I am at home, thinking about how I feel like a big loser and how this whole adventure might have been a mistake. Yet, I cannot fathom being back in Amarillo. I need to keep my chin up, I know. But, I just found out that all of my close fellow job seekers have officially found jobs (and I would like to say how truly happy I am for them) but my feelings are hurt because it seems they didn't want to share this information with me because I'm still looking. Am I not a strong enough person to handle another person's good fortune? Did I not just walk away from a perfectly fabulous job to pursue a more challenging life? I would say that qualifies me as a pretty tough cookie.

When did I get to a point where my own friends and family don't want to talk to me anymore? Am I THAT bitter? Have I turned that bitter and negative that I'm horrible to talk to and be around? At least I still have my husband. And my kitties. And the Tyra Banks show. (There is awesome free television around here, folks! I have learned alot from my friend Tyra...)

But, I digress. It isn't right to put that amount of negative energy out into the world. I am a true believer that kharma is a bitch and she can be pretty fierce when you surround yourself with negativity and and self pity. You (meaning I) must remain positive to attract positiveness in your (meaning my) life. So, to my near and dears' who have completed their search, congratulations! You are all fabulous! I commend your efforts and knew deep down in my monkey heart that you all would have ultimate success. Now, if the great Universe would only answer my prayers and send one my way. Keep praying, folks! It will happen. Otherwise, I might just end up on the street, sans a husband. Just kidding, darling...I know you would kick Oliver out before you would send me packing! ;)